Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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