I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
