Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
