If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
