i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
where are my eyebrows?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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