I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize