Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
