im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
