She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
