I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
