Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Sex in the backyard? Check.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
