i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
