Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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