jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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