theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My vagina is very pro this idea
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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