So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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