I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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