Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
