are you so shy because you have an std?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize