Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
