Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
