i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
