video games are the ultimate cock blocker
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Can you bring me the toilet please
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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