I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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