Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She told me I should be a condom model.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
