I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
