i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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