so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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