I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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