omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
