ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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