I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
