i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
