White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize