I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the day after is always just damage control
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
