No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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