i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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