so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
