I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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