thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
