Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
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There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
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Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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