OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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