just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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