But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
