Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
