I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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