Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize