Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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