I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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