ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
