also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
