So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
