hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
two words: eviction party
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
did you just send me my own nude
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
