This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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