i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
