apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
