he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
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But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
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Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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