He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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