all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
