I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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