she was so not down for the gang bang
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
