The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
