just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize