I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
