have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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