What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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