I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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