Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
