she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Let's get the cat blown out
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
