On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The uberlube is also flammable
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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